The Power of Shared Passions: How Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Deepened My Bond with My Son
Why Practising a Hobby or Martial Art Together Builds More Than Just Skills

There’s something powerful about doing hard things alongside the people you love.

Three years ago, I stepped onto the mat not just for fitness or self-defence, but for connection. My eldest son had started Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and I saw a chance to do something that wasn’t just for him, but with him.

As a parent, it can be hard to find shared ground as our kids grow older. Life gets busy, and the little moments of connection can get lost in the shuffle of school runs, work emails, and dinner prep. But what I discovered on the mats was a kind of magic—a playful, sweaty, laughter-filled magic that strengthened our bond in ways I never imagined.

Why Shared Hobbies with Your Child Matter

When we engage in a shared hobby or sport with our children—whether it’s martial arts, hiking, painting, or even board games—we create a space ...

Has your child ever had a label slapped on their forehead?

Naughty. Cheeky. Sporty. Geeky. Disruptive. Popular.

The list goes on and on.

Labels are such an interesting area to explore, especially in early childhood. Think about yourself growing up—did the labels you were given help you or hinder you? Did you grow into them, or spend years trying to break free? Were they even true—or were they just self-fulfilling prophecies?

Honestly, I think it’s the latter. Especially in those formative early years, how children are described often becomes how they see themselves.

Research supports this.
In early childhood education, studies show that the expectations we place on children—through language, tone, and even subtle cues—can shape how they behave and how they see themselves. This is known as the Pygmalion effect or self-fulfilling prophecy. If a child is repeatedly told they’re "trouble," they often start to believe it—and then behave in ways that reinforce that belief.

Even as adul...

Resilient Athletes: Teaching Our Kids to Cross the Bridge of Effort

The other evening, my 10-year-old son Joshua tried rugby for the first time.

As we were getting ready to head out, he said his tummy hurt. Any parent knows that line—it could be nerves, a genuine ache, or just a quiet plea to avoid the unfamiliar.

I remember that feeling. I still get that feeling when I’m nervous about trying something new. And I also know—it usually fades once you dive in.

I told him I understood how he felt and that I was proud of him for showing up. I reminded him that the tummy flutter was just a mix of nerves and excitement, and that once he got moving, it would feel better.

The Quiet Foundations of Resilience

At the field, I got chatting with another dad whose son was dealing with separation anxiety. We shared a look that said, yep, been there.

These quiet, in-between moments don’t always look like resilience—but they are its foundation.

It’s how we show up for our kids, helping them st...

Let Them Climb: Risk, Play & Parenting with Courage

Why letting our kids take risks might be the bravest parenting move we make.

Rhion is a tree climber.

Not just a kid who occasionally scrambles up the lower branches—he’s the kind who scales high, perches on the edge, and sits still among the leaves for nearly an hour, taking in the world from above. On this particular day, he stayed up there for 45 minutes—quiet, contemplative, completely in his element.

He wasn't trying to escape. He wasn't showing off. He was simply being. Still. Peaceful. Observing life from a different perspective. Feeling free.

Parenting in the grey zone of risk and trust

As a parent, this moment triggered my inner alarm system. What if he falls? What if a branch breaks? What if this is the one time it goes wrong?

But what I’ve come to learn—especially with a child like Rhion—is that these moments are necessary. Not just for his physical development, but for his emotional growth, his confidence, and h...

What I’ve Learned About Screens, Play, and Parenting the Third Time Around.

When my older boys were toddlers — now 10 and 13 — we were the first wave of iPad parents.

We didn’t really stop to think about what screens were doing to them.
It felt new, exciting, and to be honest, sometimes… necessary.
Dinner needed cooking. I needed a break. Everyone else was doing it.

So we handed over the screen.
One Ryan’s Toy Review after another.
Kinder egg unboxings. Hours of YouTube. Endless swiping.
And the toys? They stayed in their boxes.

💔 Looking Back

It didn’t happen all at once — but over time, I watched my children’s capacity for imaginative play shrink.
Their ability to sit in boredom or create their own fun faded.

And I had all the excuses under my wing — I truly did.
But looking back now, I see it clearly:

My boys were addicted to screens. And it happened before my eyes.

It wasn’t intentional. It wasn’t bad parenting. It was uninformed parenting in a brand-new digital world...

The Power of Repetition for Emotional Resilience

If you’ve ever said something a hundred times to your toddler or repeated the same classroom mantra daily, and thought, Is this even working? — good news: it is.

Repetition is powerful. Especially when it comes to building emotional resilience in children.

In fact, one of the simplest, most overlooked tools we have to help kids feel safe, seen, and strong in their emotions is this: saying the same thing, again and again and again.

🧠 Why Repetition Builds Emotional Resilience

Our brains are wired to learn through repetition. Repeated words, actions, and patterns create neural pathways — basically, emotional muscle memory. The more often children hear a phrase or practice a coping tool, the more easily they access it when they really need it.

For young children still developing their emotional regulation skills, repetition helps them:

• Feel safe and secure through predictability

• Internalise positive emotional scripts

...

My Teenager and Our Evolving Relationship: Growing Together Through the Changes (and Jiu Jitsu)

No one really prepares you for the moment your child starts to pull away. The once chatty, cuddly little human who used to tell you everything suddenly disappears behind a closed door, a hoodie, or a screen.

And just like that, you realise: our relationship is changing.

But here’s the truth I’ve come to understand — it’s not breaking.
It’s evolving.

🌱 The Teenage Years: A New Landscape

Teenagers are in a state of emotional, neurological, and social transformation. Their brains are rewiring. Their identities are forming. Their need for independence is real.

This often shows up as:

• Moody silences

• Eye rolls and shrugged shoulders

• Sudden need for privacy

• Pulling away from family rituals

• Questioning everything (including us)

It’s easy to take it personally. But what they’re really doing is becoming themselves.

And our role? To shift, not disappear.

🤼‍♀️ Jiu J...

Feelings First: What’s More Important—The Alphabet or Learning to Name Your Emotions?

A is for apple.
B is for ball.
C is for… crying on the floor because someone took your toy and you don’t have the words to explain how you feel.

We teach kids their ABCs before they can walk straight. We drill letters, numbers, colours, and shapes. And yes — literacy matters.

But what if we told you that emotional literacy might matter even more?

At My Wellbeing School, we believe in a simple but radical idea:

Feelings come first.
Before reading.
Before writing.
Before anything else — we need to learn how to be with ourselves.

🧠 What Is Emotional Literacy?

Emotional literacy is the ability to:

• Recognise what you’re feeling

• Name the emotion

• Understand where it’s coming from

• Express it in healthy ways

• Empathise with others’ feelings, too

It’s the foundation of emotional regulation, resilience, and connection — all essential for lifelong wellbeing.

💥 Why “Fee...

Toddlers and Mindfulness: Learning Emotional Regulation

The other day, my toddler turned to me in the sea — eyes soft, body still — and said:

“Mummy, this is my calm face.”

He was meditating.

In his own toddler way. In the ocean. With intention.

And I nearly burst into tears.

Because in that quiet, sun-drenched moment, I realised something powerful:

They’re taking it in.
All of it.
The breathing. The words. The tone. The energy. The stillness. The way we model how to move through the world.

Even when we feel like it’s not landing — it is. In ways we might not see until suddenly, one day… we do.

🧠 Toddlers Absorb Everything

Children are sensory sponges. Long before they can explain what they’re feeling, they’re soaking in how we respond to emotions, how we breathe through chaos, how we hold space for big feelings.

They’re watching:

• How we regulate ourselves when frustrated

• How we say “I need a moment” or “Let’s take a breath”

• How we describe emotions

  ...

Nestled among the rocks and trees, my children, Noah (13) and his little brother Rhion (3), sit perched on a natural ledge, barefoot and immersed in their surroundings. The sunlight filters through the dense canopy above, casting playful shadows on the rugged terrain below. This moment—of climbing, exploring, and experiencing the raw beauty of nature—reflects the very essence of learning through risk.

The idea of “risky play” is gaining momentum worldwide, as educators, parents, and policymakers recognize the importance of allowing children to engage in unstructured, adventurous play. The Woeste Westen play forest in Amsterdam exemplifies this movement, providing children the space to explore boundaries through climbing, wrestling, playing with fire, and even using tools like hammers and knives under supervision.

In an era where digital screens dominate childhood, outdoor play is becoming an endangered experience. Mascha van Werven, a charity director, highlights a growing concern: “...